The Name Game

Dear Parents,

I ask that you please stop getting mad at me when I mistakenly assume the sex of your child.  I’m sorry that I asked about your boys, Ryan and Danny, when they are in fact your girls, Ryenne and Dannie.  I ask you to forgive me when I have to ask the sex of your child because I don’t know if Addison, Jaiden and Quinn are boys or girls.  I also apologize for the bewildered look on my face when you tell me that Sammy is here for his appointment but Sammie will not be coming in. My bad.

I really do appreciate the time and effort it took you to name your child.  Even if I can’t spell or pronounce your child’s name, I understand that their name has special meaning to you.  I am not trying to disrespect your Irish great grandmother when I butcher little Aoife’s name.

I’m all for originality, so if you want to throw together some consonants and vowels to make up a name for your child that no one in the entire world has, I support you.  I will eventually learn the correct pronunciation of your child’s name, all I ask for is your patience and understanding and to cease any scowling during my initial assassination of said name.

Yours Truly,

Reminachajeezabelle (just kidding!)

“I call everyone ‘Darling’ because I can’t remember their names.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor


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