#1. The Toilet Talker.
Now I’m not going to lie and say that I haven’t used the bathroom during a particularly long phone conversation, but I at least mute the call. If you’re going to call me, and you HAVE to use the bathroom, I suggest you do the same because after I hear the toilet flush and the water run as you wash your hands, I will completely forget anything you’ve told me and will only wonder if you did number one or number two.
#2. The Lumbergh Caller
Those of you who have watched the movie Office Space will understand why this kind of caller is particularly frustrating. The conversation will go something like this:
(Caller) “Um yeahhh, hiiiii. Ummmmm, yeah so (sigh) I need…to…um, what was it I needed? Oh yeah, um, I need to come in on Tuesday, no wait, that’s not going to work, ok Thursday, (sigh) actually I think Friday, ummmm wait hold on ..”
(Me) Click. Yes, I just hung up on them. Maybe next time they’ll get their act together before they call me.
#3. The Blasé Mother
Now, I’d like to start out by saying that I appreciate all you moms out there. You do so much for your family without expecting anything in return. You are truly unselfish beings. That being said…when your infant is hysterically crying because he is hungry or sleepy or sick, this is not the time to call to ask me to explain your account balance to you. I understand that maybe it’s at this particular moment that you remember you need to call and you’re afraid that if you don’t call right now you’ll completely forget but trust me, I can’t hear you. All I hear is your baby’s piercing screams in my ear. Please call back during nap time.
#4. The Hungry Caller
This caller is trying to multi-task but because they are starving, the call fails. Here’s an example of such call:
“Hi! How are you? Well, the reason I’m calling is because yes I’d like a number 4 with cheese and no tomatoes and a large coke I won’t be able to make it on Thursday I’m just swamped and can I have ketchup and extra napkins? Thanks. So yeah, what do you think?”
I think you should call back when your blood sugar levels are normal.
And last but not least:
#5. The Dangerous Multi-Tasker
The reason this caller bothers me is because of the level of danger they are putting not only themselves in, but also those around them. This caller is driving their kid to swim class, eating a late lunch, putting on mascara (or for men, shaving), and reading out a credit card number for me to charge all while driving on a major highway. I understand that you have a crazy busy life, but it’s not worth risking that life in order to check off all the things on your to-do list. Call me when you’re parked.
So there you have it. Have you encountered any of these? What are some of your most annoying callers? I’d love to hear from you.
“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
– Laura Ingalls Wilder