A Change Is Gonna Come

I believe that most of us enjoy some change in our life.  We may long to sip mai-tais on some beach in the Caribbean, to have better health insurance or land that dream job we’ve always wanted. But what about when unexpected, unwanted change comes along?  Perhaps a company merger, a break-up, or loss of income?  Situations like these can cause great anxiety and in turn physical maladies.  It’s hard to not worry about these things but what can we gain by worrying and at times obsessing over these matters? Nothing. Except maybe a stomach ulcer.

One thing to remember is that as humans, we have the ability to adapt.  If a person lives in Florida but moves to Seattle to pursue their dream job, they have to adapt to a new climate. If a single person who has lived on their own for many years suddenly finds the love of their life and marries, they have to adapt to living and sharing with another person. If we have the ability to adapt to wanted changes, then we have the ability to adapt to the unwanted ones.  If we are suddenly diagnosed with a disorder, we have to adapt to taking medication. I know, it’s easier said than done, but the point is, it can be done.

What if you’ve tried to adapt to your situation but you just can’t do it?  Well, you’re in luck.  You can change it.  That’s right, change it! Did you try working under new management for several months but find that you are still unhappy? Then dust off your resumé and apply for a new job.  Did you try taking medication for your disorder but find that after several months you feel terrible?  Try a new regimen.  When something doesn’t work out you have the choice to adapt to your new circumstance or change it.

So remember, in life, a change is inevitably going to come.  It is up to you how you deal with it.

Please feel free to share how you have overcome a struggle in your life.  It just may help another reader to overcome theirs 🙂

♫ There have been times that I thought I couldn’t last for long
But now I think I’m able to carry on
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will ♫

Sam Cooke – A Change Is Gonna Come (Lyrics)

“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” -Viktor E. Frankl

Elastic Heart

Heartbreak.  We’ve all been there.  Unrequited love, a broken relationship, unfulfilled dreams.  There are countless situations that can leave us with a figurative myocardial infarction.

   

Our misfortune may leave us struggling to focus on things like our work, our education, our driving.  We may even neglect important things like our families, our friends and our hygiene.  It’s very easy to become so absorbed in our pain that we lose…ourselves.

What can we do when we’re in that dark pit?  When we feel like we’re running through quick sand?  What can help us?  For some, like me, it’s prayer.  It’s allowing ourselves to grieve.  It’s leaning on our family and friends.  It’s realizing that we can survive.  That we are resilient.  It may take some of us a little longer to bounce back, but the point is that we do bounce back.  We should always fight to be our best selves, because that is what we deserve.

This reminds me of a few of my favorite lyrics from Sia’s song, Elastic Heart.

♫ You did not break me…I’m still fighting for peace…And I know that I can survive, I walked through fire to save my life, and I’m doing everything I can…♫

So if you are in a bad situation, don’t lose hope.  Look to God, find your inner strength, and for some, take your meds.  Remember, no one can break you to the point of everlasting death.  You will survive!

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”                                                                                                                    –Martin Luther King, Jr.

Annoying Callers

 
There are many types of annoying callers.  For today’s post I am listing my top five most annoying callers. Here it goes…

#1. The Toilet Talker.

Now I’m not going to lie and say that I haven’t used the bathroom during a particularly long phone conversation, but I at least mute the call.  If you’re going to call me, and you HAVE to use the bathroom, I suggest you do the same because after I hear the toilet flush and the water run as you wash your hands, I will completely forget anything you’ve told me and will only wonder if you did number one or number two.

#2. The Lumbergh Caller

Those of you who have watched the movie Office Space will understand why this kind of caller is particularly frustrating.  The conversation will go something like this:

(Caller) “Um yeahhh, hiiiii.  Ummmmm, yeah so (sigh) I need…to…um, what was it I needed? Oh yeah, um, I need to come in on Tuesday, no wait, that’s not going to work, ok Thursday, (sigh)  actually I think Friday, ummmm wait hold on ..”

(Me) Click. Yes, I just hung up on them.  Maybe next time they’ll get their act together before they call me.

#3. The Blasé Mother

Now, I’d like to start out by saying that I appreciate all you moms out there.  You do so much for your family without expecting anything in return.  You are truly unselfish beings.  That being said…when your infant is hysterically crying because he is hungry or sleepy or sick, this is not the time to call to ask me to explain your account balance to you.  I understand that maybe it’s at this particular moment that you remember you need to call and you’re afraid that if you don’t call right now you’ll completely forget but trust me, I can’t hear you.  All I hear is your baby’s piercing screams in my ear.  Please call back during nap time.

#4. The Hungry Caller

This caller is trying to multi-task but because they are starving, the call fails.  Here’s an example of such call:

“Hi! How are you? Well, the reason I’m calling is because yes I’d like a number 4 with cheese and no tomatoes and a large coke I won’t be able to make it on Thursday I’m just swamped and can I have ketchup and extra napkins? Thanks. So yeah, what do you think?”

I think you should call back when your blood sugar levels are normal.

And last but not least:

#5. The Dangerous Multi-Tasker

The reason this caller bothers me is because of the level of danger they are putting not only themselves in, but also those around them.  This caller is driving their kid to swim class, eating a late lunch, putting on mascara (or for men, shaving), and reading out a credit card number for me to charge all while driving on a major highway.   I understand that you have a crazy busy life, but it’s not worth risking that life in order to check off all the things on your to-do list.  Call me when you’re parked.

So there you have it.  Have you encountered any of these?  What are some of your most annoying callers?  I’d love to hear from you.

“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
– Laura Ingalls Wilder

The Library Diaries

I love the public library.  There are books, movies, CD’s, magazines, newspapers…but best of all, there are people. Quiet people.

  
I am fortunate to have a library near my office.  Sometimes, after a particularly noisy morning (like today), I head on over to the library and I just sit in silence.  Many times I skip any reading or writing that I need to do and I just sit there, taking in that used book smell. Then I partake of one of my most favorite indulgences…people watching.

I observe the lady in the canary yellow pants as she tilts her head, trying to read the titles of the books.  I watch the people on the computers.  I can see that one gentleman is filling out an application.  Is it for a job?  What kind of job is he looking for?  I try to eavesdrop on the two women adjacent to me but they are whispering (duh, it’s the library).  One of them has a look of disgust on her face.  Drama!  One guy plays with his beard as he reads.  He is totally enthralled by whatever he is reading.  I’m curious and wonder if I would like it as much as he does.  One barbarian sneezes into the open air (gross!). Thank goodness he is far away from me.

Am I a voyeur? Absolutely (in the non sexual way of course).  I won’t deny it.  Some people like to go to the zoo and watch animals play, I like to go to public places with my sunglasses on and watch people go about their day.  If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend you experience at least once.

I look at my watch and realize that I have to get back to the office (boooo!).  As I’m gathering my things, I spot her.  Another voyeur.  She has undoubtedly been watching me write in my notebook with my blue highlighter (not one pen in my purse, not ONE!) and seen me give sneezy over there the evil eye.  I get up to leave and as I am just about to walk past her, I give her a knowing nod.  She reciprocates.

It’s going to be a good day.

The Name Game

Dear Parents,

I ask that you please stop getting mad at me when I mistakenly assume the sex of your child.  I’m sorry that I asked about your boys, Ryan and Danny, when they are in fact your girls, Ryenne and Dannie.  I ask you to forgive me when I have to ask the sex of your child because I don’t know if Addison, Jaiden and Quinn are boys or girls.  I also apologize for the bewildered look on my face when you tell me that Sammy is here for his appointment but Sammie will not be coming in. My bad.

I really do appreciate the time and effort it took you to name your child.  Even if I can’t spell or pronounce your child’s name, I understand that their name has special meaning to you.  I am not trying to disrespect your Irish great grandmother when I butcher little Aoife’s name.

I’m all for originality, so if you want to throw together some consonants and vowels to make up a name for your child that no one in the entire world has, I support you.  I will eventually learn the correct pronunciation of your child’s name, all I ask for is your patience and understanding and to cease any scowling during my initial assassination of said name.

Yours Truly,

Reminachajeezabelle (just kidding!)

“I call everyone ‘Darling’ because I can’t remember their names.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

The Yo-Yo Effect

Here’s my list of top five yo-yo dieters:

1. Kirstie Alley   2. Me   3. Oprah   4. Ricki Lake   5. Janet Jackson

When I was born I weighed 6lbs 14oz.  Considering the average weight for a newborn is 7.5 lbs., you could say I was a skinny baby.  Well, that didn’t last very long.

I quickly became a chunky chubbster. As I got older, I wasn’t an obese child but I was always more corpulent than my peers.  I remember being put on my first diet around the third or fourth grade.  I vividly remember how one night, after everyone had gone to bed, I had terrible hunger pangs so I sneaked into the kitchen only to be caught red-handed by my mother with a slice of white bread in my hand.  I think she felt bad because she smiled and let me stuff the bread into my mouth.  Once hormones and high school set in, my weight started increasing at a steady pace.  By then, my yo-yo dieting was in full effect.

Later in life I learned that I suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Among the many heinous side effects is weight gain.  When you have PCOS, if you’re not actively trying to lose weight, you’re actively gaining it. I am appreciative of people like Whitney Way Thore who use the media to educate people on this disorder. Keep an eye out for season two of Whitney’s show, My Big Fat Fabulous Life, this summer on the TLC network.

I’ve tried a plethora of diets including the South Beach Diet, the Mediterranean Diet, the cabbage soup diet, the Atkins Diet, diet teas, diet pills…the list goes on and on. I’ve learned that what works for me is staying away from refined foods.  Loading up on whole foods, drinking plenty of water and exercising makes a world of difference.

I have a gym membership which I am very proud of.  When I commit to it I go four to five times a week for at least an hour.  Unfortunately, I allow unexpected life situations to render me immobile leaving my gym stints few and far between.  My gym key is currently collecting dust on top of my book shelf.

Yesterday I was trying on dresses for a convention I will be attending this weekend.  The first dress buttoned up but the buttons and button holes looked like a bitter divorced couple struggling to get away from each other.  The second dress didn’t even button up.  So, I’ve decided that I need to roll that yo-yo back up into my hand again.  I’m going to plan out my schedule for next week to include meal plans and work outs.  Let’s see how long I can keep that yo-yo in my hand.  Hopefully, this time, it will just stay there.

To be continued…

Once you have commitment, you need the discipline and hard work to get you there.”                                                                                                         -Haile Gebrselassie

Bad Blood

Last night I dreamt that Taylor Swift was singing to me.

🎶 Now we’ve got probbbb blems and I don’t think we can sollllve’em, you made a really deep cu-ut and baby now we got bad blood, HEY! 🎶

Only as she got menacingly closer I realized that it wasn’t Tay Tay at all.  It was my eyebrow lady. I woke up in cold sweats.  I know exactly what prompted this hellish nightmare.

Friday evening I had plans to go stay with my best friend who was visiting from out-of-town.  I packed my things in the car and as I was reversing, I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed how horribly unkempt my eyebrows were.

Now most, if not all women, will agree that just like breakfast is the most important meal of the day, a well-groomed pair of eyebrows are the most important part of your face.  If you want proof of this, check out Cara’s clever post on her blog Maskcara. 

http://www.maskcara.com/2013/01/29/browproblems/

So naturally, something had to be done.  What kind of friend would I be if I showed up to my BFF’s place with two hairy caterpillars on my face?

I looked at the clock.  6:42 p.m.  My threader’s salon closes at 7:00 p.m.  It takes me 10 minutes to get there.  When I walk in, my regular lady and a new lady are both with clients.  There is one client ahead of me.  I sign in and wait patiently.  My regular lady takes the next client to the back.  I’m starting to feel nervous. New girl finishes with her client.  She looks at me and says, “Come…sit.”  In that split second I must make a decision.  Do I offend the new girl and ask to wait for my regular girl, possibly upsetting my regular girl because I waited until the last-minute to walk in and now she has to stay late to work on me? Or do I accept new girl’s invitation and risk offending my regular girl for cheating on her? I chose the latter.

The whole time I sat in the chair I was unaware of the pain from the unwaxed thread ripping stray hairs out of my face.  Instead I was listening intently at the voices coming from the back of the salon.  Were they getting closer?  I prayed for new girl to hurry up and finish before regular girl came out.

She didn’t.

I picked up my purse and did the walk of shame up to the register.  As I handed regular girl my payment she asked, “So, my dear, how have you been?” . The temperature in the room went down about 20 degrees. “I’ve been okay”, I sighed.  I was trying to get her pity.  It didn’t work. She briefly looked up and with an icy stare she said, “Have a good weekend.”. No smile. No “see you in two weeks”. Nada. We are officially over.

♫ Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes…♫

I got in my car and as I was reversing, I looked in the rear view mirror at my freshly threaded brows.  I hate them. Another affair gone bad.

So now I must search high and low for a new, trustworthy threader.  Until then, I’ll have to rely on my Japonesque tweezers and my favorite eyebrow filler by Two Faced.  (For those who’d like to know, it’s called Bulletproof Brows and the color is universal brunette. I love it.)

You live and you learn.

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde

Modest Mouse

Today I asked Siri what modesty was.  She proceeded to show me a list of definitions, one being: ‘behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency’.  It seems to me that modesty has been shoved into a museum along with rotary phones, paper maps, VCR’s and dial-up internet.

I work in an environment where I see children of all ages.  I remember one day recently, after I said my fare wells to a lovely mother and her eleven year old daughter, I watched as they walked out of the building and I noticed that I could see the bottom portion of this very young girl’s bum cheeks.  The only reason I wasn’t stunned and shocked is because I unfortunately see this on a regular basis.

The encounter reminded me of an article I read (ok maybe it was one of Perez Hilton’s posts) where it stated that Kendall Jenner was NOT happy about a photographer circulating a pic that he took of her showing the bottoms of her cheeks. And I don’t mean the ones on her face. Appalling? Yes! But why was she wearing a dress that is shorter than my favorite Foo Fighter’s t-shirt? And WHERE was her underwear?

It’s one thing for young celebrities to be scantily clad; they live for any kind of press, be it good or bad.  But what about the beloved young ladies in our lives? Are we allowing society to dictate their appearance and their self worth?

This bothers me because that eleven year old will eventually turn into the seventeen year old that walks into a professional office wearing those same pair of shorts she wore when she was eleven only now she has paired them with a sheer blouse that has a plunging neckline so low, it would make Rihanna blush.

By allowing and accepting this kind of vestment, are we inadvertently teaching young girls that in order to be attractive, they have to expose as much skin as legally possible?

Perhaps young girls associate modesty with the image of a mousy girl who sits in a corner with headgear, a turtle neck, curdoroy pants and no friends or self esteem.  But this is far from the truth.  I know many young women who are modest AND pretty AND respectful AND smart AND talented AND  have lots of real friends, not just Facebook “friends”. Why not educate our youth on the importance of self respect and proper dress and grooming?  On the value of respecting others and how to accentuate their brains, not their boobs.

I commend all those parents out there that strive to inculcate these positive values in their children and also all those young ones that, despite the constant bombardment of licentious debauchery from the media, live the happy and balanced life of a modest mouse. 

“The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.” – Kurt Cobain

INTERVENTION!

I’m terrible with money.

I have ‘La Mer’ tastes and a ‘Suave’ budget.  Those who have shopped with me know that this is not always intentional.  I can walk into a store like TJ Maxx and I have this super power where I can pick out, without looking at labels, the $129 handbag instead of the $29 one I can afford.  It’s a gift.

I’m often flabbergasted at how I can get paid on Monday and be totally broke by Tuesday, forcing me to furiously search for loose change in my car so that I can feed my caffeine addiction.

I have many addictions, apart from coffee, that continuously drain me of funds.  Food addictions, notebook addictions, pen addictions, make-up addictions.  I’m addicted to addictions.  I need help.  I need an intervention.

Recently after having a conversation about the possibility  and logistics of panhandling for spending money, a dear friend of mine emailed me a simple Excel spreadsheet to help with my financial follies.  After a week of strictly adhering to my new budget, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw real cash monies inside of my wallet- on a Sunday night no less!

I was hooked!  Managing my finances was now attainable.  I found this great little app called Pocket Expense that helps me track my expenses quickly and easily right on my phone.  I love it.  Thanks to my intervention, I was saved.

Now that my budget is under control, I find that I’m more confident and I have more brain power to channel into the more positive things in my life.  All this positive energy has now become, for lack of a better word… an addiction.

If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.”  – Edmund Burke

Weirdos

When I was around five years old my parents took me to see the Statue of Liberty.  While we were strolling through Battery Park, I remember that I ran ahead of my parents, happily skipping through the trees, looking at birds, following squirrels…I was in my own little world.  Then, all of a sudden, it hit me: I’m all alone.  I looked around for mom and dad but they were nowhere in sight.  At that moment, everything around me disappeared.  There were no birds, no squirrels, no people, just empty space.  I did the only thing I knew how. I sat down on the ground and played with a blade of grass.  I’m absolutely sure of this because there is a photograph of this moment stuck in a crinkly old family album.

Turns out my parents were watching me from behind a tree like some weirdo stalkers.

Thirty years later, whenever I’m faced with a daunting experience, I revert back to that five year old who falls to her knees and plays with a blade of grass.  Everything and everyone around me disappears and I’m solely focused on keeping my heart from breaking into a thousand pieces.

Fortunately for me, a have a plethora of weirdo friends and family who stand behind trees and make sure that I survive.

I’m a very lucky girl.

 “The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.”  – Charles Kuralt